Klinefelter Syndrome And Me
Age seventy I was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome. My Endocrinologist explained to me what it was but naturally I wanted more information so did what most of us do now I Googled it.
Eventually I came across the Klinefelter Association website. What a revelation, answers to questions I had wondered about all my life.
As a child growing up I was what then was called a ‘sickly’ child. I suffered with Bronchial ailments, Bronchial Asthma, Bronchitis and following the advice of the day I was kept off school and kept warm. At one point I contracted Bronchial Pneumonia and was visited often by the district nurse. A formidable lady wielding an enormous syringe with glass container and a needle of seemingly gargantuan proportions for the life saving Penicillin.
But aside from this I wondered why I was different. My shape wasn’t the same as the other boys, I seemed to be pear shaped. And I was tall. Nothing in that you might think but both Mum and Dad were small, 5′ 2″ and 5′ 6″ and my sister was only 5 ft! But as I grew into my teen years other much more important things were evident ( well, to me anyway) my penis was tiny ( still is most of the time)! Everything seemed to work as it should but I knew it was different! And I preferred the company of girls and then, when older, women.
At school I hated sports, probably because it meant stripping off, exposing my differences. I always felt inadequate, my confidence level was nil. I found it very difficult to assert myself ( this remained for most of my working life), I preferred to work alone, often hidden away.
All these problems were made worse because others soon cottoned on to my differences and played on them. Other boys ( then men) realised there was a chance to to take advantage and often did so. I was very unhappy during these times.
But the human mind is very resilient and, faced with these obstacles, finds a way to carry on. You develop a barrier, a kind of shield. At the back in your mind is this oft timid character who is ashamed of his persona. Gradually I came to accept that ( with few exceptions) that would be my lot and I must learn to live with it. Sometimes there would be a temporary respite, I would be myself and be accepted, these were wonderful times. But then a new face or something else would trigger it off again. My sex life was fairly straight forward and I was lucky in meeting genuinely caring girls and women to whom my inadequacies were not an issue. I enjoyed my sex, it was an expression of me toward someone special that could not be taken away or ridiculed, in fact I was good at it! If that sounds arrogant it is not meant to be, just a fact.
My working life was at times difficult because of my lack of education. At school I found concentration difficult, and reading in particular. I could not read properly until aged seven. My Grandfather introduced me to ‘penny dreadfuls’ of the Wild West variety which I loved. Soon I was devouring books like mad. To this day knowledge is everything and the Internet has provided the knowledge and the impetus to learn. I have always liked working with my hands and exploring different way to do things. This quest for knowledge lead me to evening class and my GCSE’s taken in my fifties! This in turn lead to my love of poetry and the ability using this medium to express myself.
Yes you can live your life with Klinefelter Syndrome. Maybe it was difficult for me then because the condition was relatively unknown but now in our ‘so called ‘ enlightened society people are, once they understand, not likely to judge so quickly. As long as you explain what you have and there is an unlikely hood of you having children you relationships will be ok. If they are not then that person wasn’t right for you anyway!
One more thing, NOISE! I cannot solve a problem if there is any loud noise going on in the background! It drives me insane! Another funny Klinefelter thing.
You’re Different Nick, Live With It
You’re different, but it’s not the end
You’re different, but you can have a friend
You’re different Nick,don’t give up hope
You’re different Nick, but you’ll be loved in the end
Difference can be your saviour, it can send—-
You different ways to live your life, don’t be afraid
You’re different, so learn to live with it,
It’s your life in the end so be happy, let Klinefelter be your friend.
I hope my story helps someone else to accept Klinefelter Syndrome.