The Syndrome
This poem sums up the feelings of so many who were diagnosed late in life. It was written by Nick who was diagnosed when he was 70.
Three score years and ten, and then,
In consulting rooms I’m told
Your different from the mainstream mould
All those years of wondering, who I am?
What I am? Swept away, different, but still a man
The Syndrome, what is this, strange condition?
An extra Chromosome, an extra part in me,
God playing games, wondering, what will be?
But now understanding, answers, if a little late
Not my fault, I wasn’t lazy, just a quirk of fate!
Trying to please, be what others wanted
Nervous, no confidence, no self-esteem
All the stuff that others had, to me, but a dream
Hiding in the shadows of life, ashamed
All along, all along, I was not to blame
School Day pressure to conform in sports
Knowing that my shape was wrong
In changing rooms with nothing on,
I would skulk and cover, hide away
Until it all began another day
Mum and Dad, through ignorance poor things
Made excuses, ‘he’s just a bit slow, you see’
‘When he decides to concentrate at school, he’ll be-
But no, disappointment. Did they ever wonder why?
They must have thought me lazy, wouldn’t try!
So now this revelation in old age
I know that inside I tried and tried
I did listen, my eyes were wide
So in my different way, I’m just me
And this way I will always be
So I make up now for time that’s gone
All those years of lost incentive
I make up now, my mind inventive
Those lost years, I am catching up
One day I might just write a book!
Nick is now our Poet Laureate. His poems feature in all our KSA newsletters.
75% of those who have KS/XXY will never understand why they are different, because they will never receive a diagnosis.
